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Dave and Scott report on ..
take it like a man
Social Chaos Tour

Social Chaos Tour '99 at Tramps - 8.5.1999

Dave's take:

Me, Scott, Ed, and Gaku Sato (harro) met in McDonalds to drink beers, eat food, and make asses of ourselves. Gaku doesn't like beer because he's scared of fizz, just like when you feed pigeons alka-seltzer and they explode. Since he needed his jollies too, he decided to break into Ed's house and take of bunch codeine, which seemed fair to us all. After eating we took the 1/9 down to 23rd Street and then Gaku realized we had to walk so he need to take a clove break.

Background information on Gaku -- Apparently while Gaku was in Japan last month his lung randomly popped. This would be unexpected for anyone but Gaku, because the worst maladies befall him for no reason. The doctors there had to staple up his lung where the staples still reside. I asked him if they could be removed and he figured they could. Either way, we thought it best that he stop smoking and building model cars, but both are way too addicting.

When we entered Tramps the first thing we noticed was the odd British man on stage who danced exactly like Tom, which if you wanted to picture it would be like an enfeebled gorilla doing the "scuba drop" but alternatingly moving his arms up and down. After laughing at him for a bit we perused the merchandise where Gaku noticed a nice brown jacket from T.S.O.L. with my name on it; I had forgotten I was in the band.

There, in our moment of greatest despair (since Ed had disappeared), a great miracle occurred. Sloppy Seconds took (up) the stage. The lead singer was a tremendous fat man who was so drunk he continuously needed to take naps during songs. Another one of them was really fat and sloppy, but I don't remember what exactly he did. Then they played "I Don't Want To Be a Homosexual" which greatly aroused our interest. This band had all the marking of greatness.

From there the bands were mediocre at best but we did make one great discovery: Christopher Farley is not dead, he is a member of the band D.O.A. The evidence all lies in the fact that he continued making movies after his death (Almost Heroes) just like 2Paq. I'm glad he's still around dressing in a hockey mask and hawaiian dress shirt.

By now we were all sober and longing for home. After listening to the endless contradictions of Murphey's Law we departed. We found Ed on the train home where he had apparently passed out and rode back and forth at least four times. He was more than happy to steal one of those 'Emergancy Evacuation Instructions' signs for me that glow in the dark. Back at Port we called it a night and Gaku bitched to me on the walk home.

Scott's take:

I went with Dave and Gak cause Dave's friend fell ill; I had previously declined to go because I am not an ass-raging punk fan. Indeed, all of what Dave said is true.

That night we were 22 years old and from Michigan. (Actually, Gaku had no proof of this lie and couldn't recieve the over 21 bracelet you see below. Too bad. At the bar it was $4-5 for drinks so we only got one. Tried to buy for Gaku but no dice -- they saw he had only a calculator watch on his wrist.

Gutter punks with mohawks bigger than my nuts surrounded. Terrible music blared out. I stood for 3 or 4 hours. I was waiting for a fight to break out but none did.

Shame on the NYC punk scene! All they did was crowd the stage and force the bands to stop playing. They were energetic.. I'll grant that.

I think we left before the last band or two, but it was time to go. I rather enjoyed it despite my disdain for the music -- music I don't like is always better live. Better, but not thrilling. Too bad.

I saw Nina there right before I left. You don't know her, but it was random. Maybe you do know her. It would be even more random then.